Ever since I came back to Madrid I've had a hard time becoming inspired and designing or drawing things that truly come from a deep place inside me, mostly because of the contstant pressure I seem to put upon myself to do my best even when I can't. I've become the sort of person that, when I'm not 'in the mood' I just will not do anything I don't feel like doing. I won't homework, chores and not even things that I enjoy. I kind of sabotage myself.
When I started university, things began to change. It is true, what they say about college, that it's the start of your life as a new person, anyone you want. At first I didn't feel it, I felt overwhelmed not unlike I was starting school. But, as time passes, I realise I'm studying now for a whole new end, a purpose; to build myself a future in that which I am most interested in the entire world. Then again, it's difficult, to say the least. There are so many people like me, striving and hoping for the very same dreams to come true. And that was never the case, in my life: I've always been the unique, maybe even reckless one, who was going to one day "become" a fashion designer, and a famous and wonderful one at that. Now I stand in my class surrounded by so much talent it overwhelms me as much as the first day, but every day. So, yes. Competition is abundant, for each and every person in my class is so good at what we do, or at least is starting to be. I know I'm not half as talented as many of them, and that is what scares me/pushes me most.
But, today, I made a drawing, of which I am quite proud. It looks much nicer in real life, because it doesn't fit in the scanner completely and since I used watercolours the page is wrinkly with the water I used. But, I hope you get the picture.
Bfff now I realise it's reaaaally bad quality, oh well, I still hope you like it.
Because, for once, today I was inspired.